Zappa Eats Zappa

Moon and Dweezil Zappa, as pictured in “Rock ‘n’ Roll Cuisine”Mum was having a clear out t’other day, and in amongst all the random cooking and craft books there was one title that caught my eye: Rock ‘n’ Roll Cuisine (1988, Aurum Press), edited by Robin Le Mesurier & Peggy Sue Honeyman-Scott, is a collection of recipes (some more serious/edible than others) submitted by various famous musicians of the time… many of whom are still famous today! For the purposes of this blog, I’m going to transcribe the two recipes that Dweezil and Moon Zappa sent in… but other contributors of note include: The B-52’s (“Cindy’s Psychedelic Divinity” and “Brenda’s Rainbow Soup”), Britt Ekland (“McDonnell’s Mussel Soup”), Deborah Harry (“Nutty Shrimp”), and Grace Slick (“How to Cook a Head”).

Fun fact: I was curious about the rotten banana thing, so I looked it up online, and according to one healthy eating site: “Research has shown that the antioxidants in fruit increase the longer the fruit is allowed to ripen. It turns out that the brown is a sign that the antioxidant levels have risen. The brown spots occur when the chlorophyll in the fruit begins to break down and turn into powerful antioxidants called nonfluorescing chlorophyll catabolytes (NCCs) that are beneficial to the human body.” But I accept no responsibility for any upset tummies (or tooth loss) that may result from you following the recipes below.

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ROTTEN BANANA CAKE

(or The Best Banana Cake You Ever Ate)

Ingredients:

– One stick butter

– ½ cup sugar

– 2 eggs

– 1 heaping teaspoon vanilla extract

– 4 tablespoons sour cream

– 1 teaspoon baking soda

– 1 ½ cup unsifted flour – wheat flour is good

– 1 teaspoon baking powder

– 3 large overly ripe (black) bananas

DZ: The bananas must be black – coal black is best

MZ: No, not coal black!

–  Currants, raisins, nuts optional*

Preheat oven to 350°F. Cream together butter and sugar (if you crave sugar, can increase to one cup). Add eggs and vanilla and BLEND until smooth. Mix sour cream and baking soda separately and add to the mixture. BLEND. Add flour and baking powder and BLEND. Add bananas that you couldn’t throw away because you thought you’d get to them later – the ones that you’d never put on your cereal – and BLEND. Nuts, currants and/or raisins may now be added. Grease and flour 9” x 5” pan and bake for one hour, or until toothpick comes out clean – you’ll figure it out.

Good with cream cheese for breakfast the next day.

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YUMMY STUFF

(or Magic Cookie Bars)

This recipe has been passed down from our Hawaiian ancestors for eons. It is very good for when you have PMS.

– Preheat oven to 375°F

– Melt one stick of butter, pour into a baking dish

– Mash graham cracker** crumbs into the butter – enough to form a crust

[layer following ingredients like lasagne]

– Add one (big) bag of chocolate chips

– Add one can of sweetened condensed milk

– Add one bag of nuts – walnuts are preferable

– Add one bag of shredded coconut

Bake in oven until coconut is lightly toasted.

MZ: Cut into squares. Eat at least 5 squares yourself. Put 3 more in a bag and hide them in your room or any special hiding place your friends or family don’t know about. You need to be sneaky or it’s not worth it.

* DZ: Dweezil doesn’t like nuts, currants or raisins so don’t put any on his half!

** Or digestive biscuits, for us Brits

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About Dee CrowSeer

A comic book writer with an interest in feminism, philosophy, and affirmative action.
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