On A Q Tip

BallsFury-MQ01I would strongly urge against paying real money to watch the godawful Balls of Fury (2007), unless your sense of humour (and attitude to homosexuality) was trapped in amber sometime around the early 1980s. If you think seeing a blind old man bumping into walls over and over again is the height of hilarity, then have at it… otherwise, this Blades-of-Glory-meets-A-Fistful-Of-Yen “spoof” sports comedy is probably best avoided.

To be fair, Christopher Walken is quite entertaining as a faux-Chinese villain running an underground table tennis competition, where they take the term “sudden death” very literally indeed… and Aisha Tyler looks might fine as his poison-dart blowing henchwoman, although she doesn’t get much else to do beyond that. I also think that co-writer Thomas Lennon, who plays an outlandish German competitor here, is a very funny and charismatic actor, and I’m greatly enjoying his work as the eccentric boss in NBC sitcom Sean Saves the World.

BallsFury-MQ02Ultimately though, the only thing that might move me to recommend watching this flick (if it’s on TV, or a super-cheap rental service) is Maggie Q’s big intro as a kick-ass table-tennis coach, laying a Jackie Chan-style smackdown on a group of unruly male pupils (including Jason Scott Lee!). Sadly, though, those two minutes are the high-point of the entire movie, and a little while later you have to suffer through the absolute nadir of her character arc, as she inexplicably starts snogging the movie’s schlubby, charmless hero (Dan Fogler), despite the fact they’ve barely even spoken to each other in the intervening scenes, let alone made a romantic connection! Feh.

About Dee CrowSeer

A comic book writer with an interest in feminism, philosophy, and affirmative action. He/him.
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