“That Skinny Ninja Chick”

[Contains Boba Fett standees and SPOILERS!!!]

Maggie Q as ‘Mai Linh’ in “Die Hard 4.0”I’ve watched and enjoyed the first four Die Hard movies many times over the years, but it was quite an unsettling experience to revisit Die Hard 4.0 (aka Live Free or Die Hard) (2007) as a newfound fan of Maggie Q. If you’re tuning in to see Bruce Willis/‘John McClane’ blow shit up, smirk out his trademark quips, and defy death/common sense, then you won’t be disappointed… but for those of us hoping to see Q kick some ass, there’s a long, frustrating wait until she gets to unleash some martial arts moves. I was watching it on TV with commercial breaks included, so my times may be a little off… but her character (‘Mai Linh’) spent roughly an hour of screentime idling around the villain’s truck-trailer lair, chatting to other characters via the telephone, before finally being sent to shut down an electrical superstation in West Virginia, where she encountered the hero (and his hacker sidekick, played by Justin Long). Their prolonged fight scene was actually pretty satisfying… especially the part where McClane has to resort to running Mai over with an SUV, because his Kung-Fu is so weak… but I thought the way he gloated about killing her after the fact was pretty tasteless. I understand that Mai was a sadistic killer who didn’t deserve my sympathy, and McClane was just trying to get a rise out of the Bad Guy by deriding his late girlfriend… but when he referred to her as “a dead Asian hooker bitch”, I couldn’t help feeling offended on her behalf. I mean, sure, she was a “clear and present danger” to the nation, and he killed her in self-defence… but did he really have to be such a dick about it? The grief displayed by cyber-terrorist ‘Thomas Gabriel’ (Timothy Olyphant) over her untimely demise actually made me like him a lot more than McClane for a little while there…

.Mary Elizabeth Winstead as ‘Lucy Gennero-McClane’ in “Die Hard 4.0”.. Until, that is, he started slapping around the hero’s kidnapped daughter, ‘Lucy Gennero-McClane’, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead! I thought she made for a fun and feisty character, with an admirable amount of smarts and spunk… though sadly she still needed to be saved by a nerdy “white knight” in the end. Meh. I was hoping Lucy might return as a lead character in the sequel, but apparently she was superseded by her brother instead, and only shows up for a family reunion in the final scene (which doesn’t even appear in the extended version!). Nonetheless, my lingering Russophilia might nudge me into checking that one out someday… just as my crush on Q could weaken my resolve if I ever see the two-disc version of this flick going cheap s/hand somewhere. Dammit!

About Dee CrowSeer

A comic book writer with an interest in feminism, philosophy, and affirmative action. He/him.
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