Janeane Garofalo as ‘Paula’ in “The Larry Sanders Show” (S3)Now that we’re knee-deep into Valentine’s Month, I’ve decided to distract myself from the howling vortex of loneliness by contemplating which fictional lady-person I’d most like to go on a date with. Fun?

Of course, I’m still crushing pretty heavily on ‘Paula’ from The Larry Sanders Show (as portrayed by Janeane Garofalo) at the moment… but, based on the episodes I’ve seen so far, I strongly suspect that she’d either stand me up completely, or cancel at the last minute, because some guest had pulled out of (or been bumped from) the show, and she was busy trying to wrangle a replacement. Even if she did turn up, we’d probably have to spend the whole evening stood outside the pub/restaurant so that she could chain-smoke and bitch about all the celebs/agents who’d spurned her that week. Obviously in real life I’d be more understanding and supportive of her career… but that’s not really the stuff that romantic day-dreams are made of, is it?

Ellie Kendrick as 'Allison Larkin' in "Being Human" (UK) (ep #4.6)And so I find myself leaning towards an age-appropriate (and non-werewolf-y) version of ‘Allison’ from Being Human (UK) (ep #4.6), as portrayed by Ellie Kendrick. When the series first started, back in 2009, I found myself unable to watch more than the first few episodes, because the premise and style of humour was far too close to the sort of comical Urban Fantasy that I was trying to write/sell at the time. To make a thematically-appropriate analogy, it was like seeing a girl you’re in love with going out with a far more successful and popular guy, who kinda looks like a handsomer version of you. Gah! And that aversion had endured throughout the subsequent years, despite several friends frequently raving about the series, until my newly-acquired affection/admiration for Kendrick compelled me to get over my petty grudge and check out her featured episode.

Ellie Kendrick as 'Allison Larkin' in "Being Human" (UK) (ep #4.6)Sadly, I can’t give her character an unqualified endorsement, because the way that Allison was depicted came dangerously close to insulting “geek-face” stereotyping at times… but some of the other characters were also quite exaggerated caricatures, so clearly that was par-for-the-course for the show at that point in its run, and not a targeted attack on geek-girls in particular. In fact, a behind-the-scenes video about the creation of the character suggests that the writers were very fond of Allison, who they praised as a diligent, well-mannered, and kind-hearted “good egg”. Of course, Kendrick’s innate adorability shone through, making her very easy to root/fall for, even when she made some terrible tactical errors while tangling with antagonistic vampires. I don’t want to give any spoilers away, so that’s all I’ll say about that… but anyone who’s interested in seeing the character in “action”, without watching the whole episode (or season), should definitely check out the faux-vlog that she posted on YouTube. Imho, this is the cutest that Kendrick has ever looked on-screen… which is saying a lot, because “super-cute” is pretty much her baseline setting.

Ellie Kendrick as 'Allison Larkin' in "Being Human" (UK) (ep #4.6)As for the date itself… based on what I saw in this episode, I’m guessing it would be a daytime rendezvous, involving a visit to one of the hundreds of museums or historical attractions that Allison can access using her much-vaunted Blue Peter badge. We’d wander around the exhibits, chatting and joking (and learning, of course!), share a cosy packed-lunch on a convenient bench or flight of steps, then maybe dress up in historical costumes for a fun souvenir photograph together. After that, we’d head back to her place for some friendly debate practice (and a little light-petting?), before parting at a respectable hour and retreating to our respective bedrooms to journal about our day together. Swoon!

About Dee CrowSeer

A comic book writer with an interest in feminism, philosophy, and affirmative action. He/him.
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